Hello Everyone!
I hope your week has been a productive one.
While on this quest to find self love, I decided to revisit things that have happened to me in the past.
When I was a freshman in college embarking upon my new life as a young adult, I had one of the most devastating heartbreaks. My First Love, ended up with my Best Friend. I remember being crushed, thinking it was in some way my fault, and that everything we had was a lie, with the feeling that I would Never Love anyone again.
Fast Foward exactly 8 years. Him and I are friends now, and I could probably hold a conversation with the ex Best Friend without having evil thoughts. Surprisingly, I don't really blame them for it; its weird but sometimes people connect. It would have been better if they brought it to my attention first, but besides that I'm perfectly fine now.
I know I thought I'd never love anyone again, but I loved my recent ex more than I've ever loved a man; Which is good because now I know the next person that grabs my heart will be loved even more.
Okay, so that situation brings us to my present situation:
Apart of the reason I'm moving to DC is to get out of this circle surrounding my Alma Mater. I managed to go 4 years without having one relationship at that school and BAM two months before graduation I met him. And as time has progressed I've met more than one of his "friends", all wanting the same thing that he let slip through his hands(A good woman).
So now I'm dealing with the same stuff I dealt with Freshman year of school, Whether or not to cross the boundaries of dating an Ex's "Friend." Don't get me wrong, I could care less what the ex thinks, but at the same time I will still be trapped in this revolving door.
What are your thoughts? Have you ever crossed the lines of dating an Ex's Friend/Associate/"Brother"
Speak Up! As always Stay Chocolate!
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Sunday, November 28, 2010
You Had Me At Hello
Since I'm about to move, I don't want to meet anyone new! I'm afraid that my next Hello, will be the person who makes me want to stay. Some people might think that is my subconscious telling me that I really don't want to go, but that's not true. I'm committed to changing my life, and scenery 100%, but there is always the possibility that because I'm not looking for a relationship or looking to meet anyone new, that I will.
I already knew that the next 3 weeks were going to be hard. I'd say within the last month, I've been ending small relationships, here and there, but at the moment there are one or two, that I'm actually intrigued by the possibility of "What If."
Along those same lines, I wanted to let everyone know that I went to a "PlayDate," this weekend with my girlfriend MH. I had a great time. For those of you who are not familiar with PlayDates, they are events hosted in select cities that invite people to network, make friends, and have fun playing some of your favorite old school games from your childhood. Yes, I'm talking about 30 year old people playing musical chairs and twister. And below is my Name Tag from the event. It was a lot of fun, and at my age I'd rather spend my night there than in a club. ***And Ladies the men were looking great!!!!!***
That's all I have for you tonight. I hope everyone has a productive week. And, as always stay Chocolate.
I already knew that the next 3 weeks were going to be hard. I'd say within the last month, I've been ending small relationships, here and there, but at the moment there are one or two, that I'm actually intrigued by the possibility of "What If."
Along those same lines, I wanted to let everyone know that I went to a "PlayDate," this weekend with my girlfriend MH. I had a great time. For those of you who are not familiar with PlayDates, they are events hosted in select cities that invite people to network, make friends, and have fun playing some of your favorite old school games from your childhood. Yes, I'm talking about 30 year old people playing musical chairs and twister. And below is my Name Tag from the event. It was a lot of fun, and at my age I'd rather spend my night there than in a club. ***And Ladies the men were looking great!!!!!***
That's all I have for you tonight. I hope everyone has a productive week. And, as always stay Chocolate.
Thursday, November 25, 2010
A Growing Epidemic
First off let me say Happy Thanksgiving!
When I began to think about what to write today, I was torn between writing about my career, or love. Well love was the winner. But only because of my Mother *Shaking My Head.*
I hope I'm not the first to tell you this, but we are dealing with a serious epidemic here in America, with many Black, Educated, Woman being single. As of right now, the only cure is for us to meet ...a MAN. Yes it may sound silly however, my mother sat on the couch today telling me how she is no longer excited about Christmas shopping because she doesn't have any grandkids to shop for. I would use the excuse that my friend TM uses which is "You have more than one daughter." But my sister is only 21 and seeing as how I'm the oldest I will bite this bullet.
Well her comments kind of upset me, mostly because, "I'm not doing this on purpose!" Which were the exact words my girlfriend TB said to her mom. I would like more than anything to pile myself, my kids, and my husband into our nice size SUV to go to my moms house for the holidays. However, that isn't in the cards for me at this time in my life. If anything she should be more focused on the fact that in three weeks I'm moving away from home to pursue a career....and not a man.
Next(3 minutes later), she asked about my ex... if him and I have spoke and she just cant understand why not. So I think I finally answered her in a way that will keep her from asking me again. "If I wanted to keep talking to him, then I would have still been in that hotel room when he got back from work." One Point for Me. *As the blogs go on I will fill you in more about what happened in that hotel room that day, but right now I'm still healing and trying to move on, and its working!*
Okay, so my mom has attacked the fact that she doesn't have any grandkids, and reminded me of my last ex boyfriend within a five minute time period. Trust, I would run away right now, however, my clothes are washing in the other room and I have 3 more loads to go.
I know I'm not the only female dealing with a mother that is watching your biological time clock closer than you are, and I understand that all of her friends are becoming grandparents; however there is a big difference between myself, the rest of her family and friends..... I went to school, I joined an organization, I became active in different groups, I graduated, set goals, and I'm actively working towards them.
And while I was doing all that, I have yet to meet a man, that is as driven as I am(that goes without saying faithful, handsome, job, car, nice smile, intelligent, and trustworthy)
TB once pointed out to me that, all of her friends with families didn't go to college, and the ones that went to college don't have families of their own. She also asked me if I would trade one for the other. My response was 'Never,' this degree is mines, and no one can ever take something I worked so hard for away from me. What about you? Would you trade one for the other.
*Self Love, realizing that everything will not turn out exactly as we want them to, however, we make the best out of what we are given*
It's clear that the older I get, the more these baby issues will come up with my mom, so I just have to think of better ways to handle them. Well all my clothes have finished washing and I'm ready watch this Beyonce Special again. So until next time Stay Chocolate(with no babies).
When I began to think about what to write today, I was torn between writing about my career, or love. Well love was the winner. But only because of my Mother *Shaking My Head.*
I hope I'm not the first to tell you this, but we are dealing with a serious epidemic here in America, with many Black, Educated, Woman being single. As of right now, the only cure is for us to meet ...a MAN. Yes it may sound silly however, my mother sat on the couch today telling me how she is no longer excited about Christmas shopping because she doesn't have any grandkids to shop for. I would use the excuse that my friend TM uses which is "You have more than one daughter." But my sister is only 21 and seeing as how I'm the oldest I will bite this bullet.
Well her comments kind of upset me, mostly because, "I'm not doing this on purpose!" Which were the exact words my girlfriend TB said to her mom. I would like more than anything to pile myself, my kids, and my husband into our nice size SUV to go to my moms house for the holidays. However, that isn't in the cards for me at this time in my life. If anything she should be more focused on the fact that in three weeks I'm moving away from home to pursue a career....and not a man.
Next(3 minutes later), she asked about my ex... if him and I have spoke and she just cant understand why not. So I think I finally answered her in a way that will keep her from asking me again. "If I wanted to keep talking to him, then I would have still been in that hotel room when he got back from work." One Point for Me. *As the blogs go on I will fill you in more about what happened in that hotel room that day, but right now I'm still healing and trying to move on, and its working!*
Okay, so my mom has attacked the fact that she doesn't have any grandkids, and reminded me of my last ex boyfriend within a five minute time period. Trust, I would run away right now, however, my clothes are washing in the other room and I have 3 more loads to go.
I know I'm not the only female dealing with a mother that is watching your biological time clock closer than you are, and I understand that all of her friends are becoming grandparents; however there is a big difference between myself, the rest of her family and friends..... I went to school, I joined an organization, I became active in different groups, I graduated, set goals, and I'm actively working towards them.
And while I was doing all that, I have yet to meet a man, that is as driven as I am(that goes without saying faithful, handsome, job, car, nice smile, intelligent, and trustworthy)
TB once pointed out to me that, all of her friends with families didn't go to college, and the ones that went to college don't have families of their own. She also asked me if I would trade one for the other. My response was 'Never,' this degree is mines, and no one can ever take something I worked so hard for away from me. What about you? Would you trade one for the other.
*Self Love, realizing that everything will not turn out exactly as we want them to, however, we make the best out of what we are given*
It's clear that the older I get, the more these baby issues will come up with my mom, so I just have to think of better ways to handle them. Well all my clothes have finished washing and I'm ready watch this Beyonce Special again. So until next time Stay Chocolate(with no babies).
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Allow Me to Reintroduce Myself
For those who know me, and for those who don't, I would like to welcome you into my world.
It's very fitting that I have decided to name this blog "Self Love." From my personal experiences, I've come to realize that, Self Love, was lacking in my own personal relationship with myself; and it took me being 1000 miles away from home, a changed plane ticket, a cab ride, and storming out of a empty hotel room for me to finally realize that I had no Self Love.
I know how to treat people. I know how to say please and thank you, because I was taught this at a young age. However, I wasn't taught how to treat myself. If you know me personally, you know that I'm not that bad off, as far as, education, and career. However, being 26, single, and just getting out of another failed relationship(only my 3rd), has lead me to question "How much am I loving myself?" Because, In all essence a lot of these situations could have been avoided If... I loved myself a little bit more.
I love being in control, and its ironic that the one thing I can control, Myself, is the one thing that I sometimes allow men or other people with power to control. Realizing this, I immediately decided to make some changes regarding my career. I know exactly where I want to be, and I wasn't there so I applied for jobs in a new city, I got the job and I'm moving to DC in less than a month.
This move has also allowed me to cut off old ties with men, and friends that were not adding any value to my life. I'm happy and excited, I've found a new love and appreciation for myself and I'm overwhelmed with gratitude for God putting me on this path to self love. I will be checking in with everyone every other day, if not daily. I want you to share in my experiences of Dating, Friendships, and Love. Until then stay Chocolate ;)
It's very fitting that I have decided to name this blog "Self Love." From my personal experiences, I've come to realize that, Self Love, was lacking in my own personal relationship with myself; and it took me being 1000 miles away from home, a changed plane ticket, a cab ride, and storming out of a empty hotel room for me to finally realize that I had no Self Love.
I know how to treat people. I know how to say please and thank you, because I was taught this at a young age. However, I wasn't taught how to treat myself. If you know me personally, you know that I'm not that bad off, as far as, education, and career. However, being 26, single, and just getting out of another failed relationship(only my 3rd), has lead me to question "How much am I loving myself?" Because, In all essence a lot of these situations could have been avoided If... I loved myself a little bit more.
I love being in control, and its ironic that the one thing I can control, Myself, is the one thing that I sometimes allow men or other people with power to control. Realizing this, I immediately decided to make some changes regarding my career. I know exactly where I want to be, and I wasn't there so I applied for jobs in a new city, I got the job and I'm moving to DC in less than a month.
This move has also allowed me to cut off old ties with men, and friends that were not adding any value to my life. I'm happy and excited, I've found a new love and appreciation for myself and I'm overwhelmed with gratitude for God putting me on this path to self love. I will be checking in with everyone every other day, if not daily. I want you to share in my experiences of Dating, Friendships, and Love. Until then stay Chocolate ;)
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